[MaryAlice]

This Tuesday morning I interview for a new job. It is legal services again, about which I have mixed feelings. It is mostly depressing, frequently stupid and sometimes evil. I greatly miss criminal law, which was always depressing, frequently evil, and sometimes stupid. But it was a lot easier for me as I think like a criminal which helped enormously. Both are better than insurance defence which was the most soul sucking, dead head void I ever had to pass through.

If I get this job, it will be a distinct improvement. The three or more hour commute will be gone. No more dark to dark hours. I waste about 18 hours a week driving along dirty and dangerous I-10 and have watched two wrecks occur which were absolutely hair raising. I suspect one was a fatality or serious injury. I've lost any count of the wrecks I have driven past. It is a continuous speed trap. Speed doesn't cause the wrecks. Dumb, distracted and aggressive driving causes those. That isn't policed. Speeding is easier to monitor and the fines are brutal. Dead animals, shredded tires, shed rubbish and pieces of vehicles mark the way. The state every once in a while makes an effort to clear the debris, but not regularly or all that often. I drive 2,000 miles a month, and have for a year and a half.

Anyway, the new job will take about 40 hours a week including the short drive, and pays better, and will put me in court again.

But I am sick of law to be honest. Never liked it much, I just thought the results were necessary, with criminal at least.

What I want to do is sacred art, and to write. Today after sleeping in - my routine and necessary Saturday oasis, I was able to poke around again with gemstones, metal and paint. Presently I have only a few hours each weekend to do what I love, what I hunger for. Hopefully I will recover about ten more hours without the commute.

Hopefully some day I can shift out of law completely, and move entirely into art. That is about the only time I am content now. 

My marriage is mostly remote admin and documentation for now. A necessary thing to cut through a lot of red tape, but scant nurturing of wife and step children, although I do talk to her an hour or so per day, and sometimes the kids peek from behind her and smile, or assess. My art work and reading time is a few hours for two days a week, while about seventy hours a week is driving and explaining to distressed people that pay day loans are bad, not paying rents results in evictions, not paying notes results in foreclosures, not paying taxes results in seizure and tax sales. Of course, when there is no health, no job, and no money, it is hard to pay all these things. Oops. You stumbled? Here. Have a few fines and penalties to encourage more diligence next time.

Fascinating, fullfilling and creative stuff I can tell you.

Give me my family, beads, candles and colors. I understand the whole sweat of the brow thing, but didn't Mary chose the better thing than drudgery, and wasn't that given to her? Most of life is in the rear view mirror and there are so many prayers and sacramentals and paintings to be done.

But life is an aggregate of our choices. We are supposed to shape it, not let it shape us. We bury ourselves when we bury our talent. So the car is out of gas? Get out and push.    Beer emoji, because I can.

How cool William ... an interview with what appears to be a much better opportunity for you!  
Prayers for you, and you'll have to let us know how the interview went.  All the best to you!