[ezdays]

Just about everyone here is or was registered on CM at one time or the other. My subscription ends the last day of this month and I've told them that I do not want to renew. Two reasons, there's so little activity in my age group, but most of all, the deletion of their forums. To be sure, this forum wouldn't exist if they hadn't shut theirs down.

Just out of curiosity, when your subscription expires there, what will or have you done? Three choices, (1) pay and renew, (2) don't pay and revert to "free" status, or (3) delete your profile entirely. The second choice is kind of awkward, you're there but you're not. Your profile is active and you'll get "views", "likes" and messages, but you can't respond with messages until after ten days and only if they sent you a message first. Your objectives may be much different than mine, but I'm tending towards the third choice since any kind of activity there at my age could only be an annoyance. Up to now, all the "likes" I get are from scammers, most are good-looking, 40-50 years younger and thousands of miles away. And when I do a search, I come up with the same small group of women over and over again. And even the scammers are ignoring me lately.

Anyway, that's my choice, how about yours?

[MariaG]

Just about everyone here is or was registered on CM at one time or the other. My subscription ends the last day of this month and I've told them that I do not want to renew. Two reasons, there's so little activity in my age group, but most of all, the deletion of their forums. To be sure, this forum wouldn't exist if they hadn't shut theirs down.

Just out of curiosity, when your subscription expires there, what will or have you done? Three choices, (1) pay and renew, (2) don't pay and revert to "free" status, or (3) delete your profile entirely. The second choice is kind of awkward, you're there but you're not. Your profile is active and you'll get "views", "likes" and messages, but you can't respond with messages until after ten days and only if they sent you a message first. Your objectives may be much different than mine, but I'm tending towards the third choice since any kind of activity there at my age could only be an annoyance. Up to now, all the "likes" I get are from scammers, most are good-looking, 40-50 years younger and thousands of miles away. And when I do a search, I come up with the same small group of women over and over again. And even the scammers are ignoring me lately.

Anyway, that's my choice, how about yours?

I'm in a similar boat.  My subscription expires on Oct 11th.  I was messaging with another member that I really missed the forums and that is how I found out about Catholic Hangout.  I don't have high hopes meeting someone online as a woman over 50, especially since I cannot relocate.  I think there is a fourth option of inactivating my profile so that if I don't renew now, but change my mind I don't have to fully rewrite the profile again.  I will also be hidden from others so there will be no likes, etc.  At this point I am thinking that this is my best option.

[MaryAlice]

Just about everyone here is or was registered on CM at one time or the other. My subscription ends the last day of this month and I've told them that I do not want to renew. Two reasons, there's so little activity in my age group, but most of all, the deletion of their forums. To be sure, this forum wouldn't exist if they hadn't shut theirs down.

Just out of curiosity, when your subscription expires there, what will or have you done? Three choices, (1) pay and renew, (2) don't pay and revert to "free" status, or (3) delete your profile entirely. The second choice is kind of awkward, you're there but you're not. Your profile is active and you'll get "views", "likes" and messages, but you can't respond with messages until after ten days and only if they sent you a message first. Your objectives may be much different than mine, but I'm tending towards the third choice since any kind of activity there at my age could only be an annoyance. Up to now, all the "likes" I get are from scammers, most are good-looking, 40-50 years younger and thousands of miles away. And when I do a search, I come up with the same small group of women over and over again. And even the scammers are ignoring me lately.

Anyway, that's my choice, how about yours?

Hi, Don ...

My CM subscription expires at midnight tonight ... and a few weeks ago, I asked CM Admin to turn off the automatic renewal.  They came back with a question as to why I didn't want to renew ... told them I wasn't happy with all the scammers and lack of decent, practicing Catholic men, and they did away with the forums.  About an hour ago, I deactivated my profile so that it would not be brought forward from anyone's search.

Just done with CM and the whole on-line "non" dating thing.  Done.  But I'm very thankful for you, and Joshua, and everyone else who've gotten CatholicHangout up and running!

[ezdays]

I'm in a similar boat.  My subscription expires on Oct 11th.  I was messaging with another member that I really missed the forums and that is how I found out about Catholic Hangout.  I don't have high hopes meeting someone online as a woman over 50, especially since I cannot relocate.  I think there is a fourth option of inactivating my profile so that if I don't renew now, but change my mind I don't have to fully rewrite the profile again.  I will also be hidden from others so there will be no likes, etc.  At this point I am thinking that this is my best option.

To start with, welcome Maria to CH, good to see you here.  

That's a good point, inactive doesn't remove your profile. I'm with you though, the older we are, the harder it is to find someone compatible on a dating site. I will still opt to just delete my profile since I have no need to continue looking for someone in my age group that is close enough to just meet for lunch. I'm doing that now, and that's all I cared about going on CM anyway. I was taken to task more than once on the CM forums for just wanting to meet new friends. Basically they were saying, "why are you on a dating site if all you want is to date?".... Still can't figure that one out....

[ezdays]

Hi, Don ...

My CM subscription expires at midnight tonight ... and a few weeks ago, I asked CM Admin to turn off the automatic renewal.  They came back with a question as to why I didn't want to renew ... told them I wasn't happy with all the scammers and lack of decent, practicing Catholic men, and they did away with the forums.  About an hour ago, I deactivated my profile so that it would not be brought forward from anyone's search.

Just done with CM and the whole on-line "non" dating thing.  Done.  But I'm very thankful for you, and Joshua, and everyone else who've gotten CatholicHangout up and running!

Thank you MA, maybe it was that we missed the forums too that brought CH to fruition. The real thanks goes to my son Pat (Flattbear) for doing all the background work to set this up.

I also told them to not renew my subscription and why. I did get a reply from Genevieve acknowledging that I had "auto renew" disabled and I would revert to "free" status on Nov 1. One common thing that runs through us as we age are health issues. I'm sure that's why there aren't that many women or men in my age group actively looking for companionship on dating sites. CM was an experiment for me and the forums were the only thing that kept me there, but I did meet someone on CM with the same goals as me and we do meet for lunch when our health issues and schedules permits. I am grateful to CM for that...

[William St. Guthlac]

Mine expired shortly after the forums and then the forum ghost went down. It renewed automatically and I asked for a refund and closure of the account.

I think my profile is down but I still get emails from CM. I haven't checked.

I was going to stay until the sacramental marriage was finally accomplished after whichever arbitrary clerical obstacle course in either country could be negotiated. I need to get more aggressive pursuing that.

Closing the forums was dumb. They made a lot of dumb admin decisions there. Midwits are confident if nothing else.

We need more people here, and more perspectives. I miss the younger people especially. They were less hidebound and more varied in their hopes and concerns. There are several I talk to at our parish. They will keep you young if you listen to them, and sometimes you can divert them from nonsense they haven't figured out yet.

[ezdays]

Mine expired shortly after the forums and then the forum ghost went down. It renewed automatically and I asked for a refund and closure of the account.

I think my profile is down but I still get emails from CM. I haven't checked.

I was going to stay until the sacramental marriage was finally accomplished after whichever arbitrary clerical obstacle course in either country could be negotiated. I need to get more aggressive pursuing that.

Closing the forums was dumb. They made a lot of dumb admin decisions there. Midwits are confident if nothing else.

We need more people here, and more perspectives. I miss the younger people especially. They were less hidebound and more varied in their hopes and concerns. There are several I talk to at our parish. They will keep you young if you listen to them, and sometimes you can divert them from nonsense they haven't figured out yet.

One thing I did, that some say that they couldn't, was to remove my credit card info. That way they couldn't renew me without my consent.

I agree, that was really dumb removing the forums, too many folks stayed there just because of them. It will be too late if they decide to reinstate them, I wouldn't go back for any reason.

And yes, we do need more people to sign up here and to post. The games command most of the posts and they are fun and a distraction, but we need some serious conversations, a bit of controversy, some leading questions, just friendly talks....

[enchantmentadm]

For all their prattle about wanting you to meet someone, dating sites do whatever they can to make you lifetime members. It is disconcerting that CM made it so hard to opt out of auto renew. Other sites, such as Zoosk, simply have a link for you to opt out. E-harmony has the same but you lose your discount price if you change your mind.

My CM membership is up next April. I will probably opt for position two (revert to non-paying status with my profile still up), although I am not sure if this is helpful for men, who are generally expected to be the initiators. I may change my mind if there is a reversal of fortune. Predictably, I had some recent encounters that appeared promising but turned out to be disappointments. The loss of the forums is also a factor. I have not been impressed with the activities that CM is developing to take their place. I actually find that the National Catholic Singles Conference virtual community does a better job with the same thing.

[ezdays]

For all their prattle about wanting you to meet someone, dating sites do whatever they can to make you lifetime members. It is disconcerting that CM made it so hard to opt out of auto renew. Other sites, such as Zoosk, simply have a link for you to opt out. E-harmony has the same but you lose your discount price if you change your mind.

My CM membership is up next April. I will probably opt for position two (revert to non-paying status with my profile still up), although I am not sure if this is helpful for men, who are generally expected to be the initiators. I may change my mind if there is a reversal of fortune. Predictably, I had some recent encounters that appeared promising but turned out to be disappointments. The loss of the forums is also a factor. I have not been impressed with the activities that CM is developing to take their place. I actually find that the National Catholic Singles Conference virtual community does a better job with the same thing.

Agree, speed dating does not replace the forums. They also need to understand that folks in my age group no longer use the word, "speed". Plus, can you think of how long it would take CM to gather enough people in my age group to even think of holding a speed dating event for us?

[susanb]

For all their prattle about wanting you to meet someone, dating sites do whatever they can to make you lifetime members. It is disconcerting that CM made it so hard to opt out of auto renew. Other sites, such as Zoosk, simply have a link for you to opt out. E-harmony has the same but you lose your discount price if you change your mind.

My CM membership is up next April. I will probably opt for position two (revert to non-paying status with my profile still up), although I am not sure if this is helpful for men, who are generally expected to be the initiators. I may change my mind if there is a reversal of fortune. Predictably, I had some recent encounters that appeared promising but turned out to be disappointments. The loss of the forums is also a factor. I have not been impressed with the activities that CM is developing to take their place. I actually find that the National Catholic Singles Conference virtual community does a better job with the same thing.

Agree, speed dating does not replace the forums. They also need to understand that folks in my age group no longer use the word, "speed". Plus, can you think of how long it would take CM to gather enough people in my age group to even think of holding a speed dating event for us?

---

thanks, Don.............I needed a good chuckle...

[ezdays]

Agree, speed dating does not replace the forums. They also need to understand that folks in my age group no longer use the word, "speed". Plus, can you think of how long it would take CM to gather enough people in my age group to even think of holding a speed dating event for us?

---

thanks, Don.............I needed a good chuckle...

Funny, tongue-in-cheek, but oh so true.

[Jericho]

Just about everyone here is or was registered on CM at one time or the other. My subscription ends the last day of this month and I've told them that I do not want to renew. Two reasons, there's so little activity in my age group, but most of all, the deletion of their forums. To be sure, this forum wouldn't exist if they hadn't shut theirs down.

Just out of curiosity, when your subscription expires there, what will or have you done? Three choices, (1) pay and renew, (2) don't pay and revert to "free" status, or (3) delete your profile entirely. The second choice is kind of awkward, you're there but you're not. Your profile is active and you'll get "views", "likes" and messages, but you can't respond with messages until after ten days and only if they sent you a message first. Your objectives may be much different than mine, but I'm tending towards the third choice since any kind of activity there at my age could only be an annoyance. Up to now, all the "likes" I get are from scammers, most are good-looking, 40-50 years younger and thousands of miles away. And when I do a search, I come up with the same small group of women over and over again. And even the scammers are ignoring me lately.

Anyway, that's my choice, how about yours?

Mine does not expire until next February and I will take it to prayer on option 3.

[Stargazer186k]

Even with the shortfalls of dating apps, I'm still glad it's available so I'll let my subscription continue whenever it renews...at least for now anyway.   Though I think unless one is truly willing and able to travel to date and eventually move the odds of success aren't good.

[enchantmentadm]

As bad as CM seems sometimes, it is by far the best dating site I have found. Someone recently asked me what I thought of CM. My response was "it is the best of a bad lot." Yes, dating sites are a bad lot and deserve their horrible reputation. My credit card company has given me a hard time about CM auto renewal. Although this was a hassle for me, I can understand their position. They probably get a massive amount of complaints and charge disputes about dating site charges, especially from the perpetual auto renewal.

I recently made the mistake of joining Catholic Chemistry, which is a relatively new site. It was fairly cheap. So I decided to give it a try. The membership base is a small fraction of CM's. I have sent several messages so far with no response. The membership base is small to begin with and there are a lot of dead profiles, which is a problem with all dating sites. It might be better if CM bought out all other Catholic sites (like they did Catholic Singles) so that there would be one Catholic megasite. To date, CM is the only site where I have met someone in person. The count with CM is about 12. It is zero for all the others.

[English Rose]

I went for option(2) don't pay and revert to "free" status. That way if someone new joins and is interested they can contact me.

Without the forums I found CM horrible. Far too many scammers. I only met one person in 3 years and they were deeply troubled and then I got stalked online by their ex girlfriend who was also on CM. An unsettling experience. I communicated with a couple of long term single men, however I think they more interested in the idea of a relationship, than the reality. Then a local person on CM drew my attention to a local CM man who had a criminal record. I'd rather swim in clear waters than amongst the murky bottom feeders and have given internet dating the boot, so I can enjoy everything else life has to offer.

Unfortunately, I have very little respect for Brian, the owner. I found him rude and disrespectful, especially of certain groups. I find I can't justify sending him money. Would rather send it to a charity.

[ezdays]

I am within days of my subscription being ended and I've decided to just suspend my profile as if I wasn't there. This way I will no longer be bothered by scammers that "like" me. If I continue to get email from CM, I will go back and delete my profile.

Now I noticed something that I do believe we discussed on CM a while back, but I cannot remember if anyone had an answer. I have "Anna", a good-looking woman, half my age and "lives" on the other side of the country. Now, Anna likes me (I can't see why), but she has not viewed my profile and that confuses me because how does she know I exist without first viewing my profile so she can click, "like"? I reported Anna as a scammer along with someone else here in Arizona with a weird name and no bio, and she is gone, but Anna is not.

I always thought that the "like" thing was a lot of hooie anyway. I found something that said Facebook use to have a "poke", used to remind someone that you wanted to talk, they replaced that with "like" so they could glean more info on you for ads and to sell your data. I doubt that CM is selling your data, but it mystifies my that someone can "like" you without first viewing your profile.

[English Rose]

Preventing someone "liking" you without first viewing your profile would probably remove a lot of scammers. Good idea!

[ezdays]

Preventing someone "liking" you without first viewing your profile would probably remove a lot of scammers.  Good idea!

It still boggles my mind that they can do that. I'm sure one giveaway is that they send "likes" to a hundred people at a time and the CM staff can see that. I had two last week, reported them both and now I have no likes... I like it that way. What a lousy way to make a living, being a scammer and cheating people out of their money and their hearts...

[ezdays]

Had another "like" on CM, but "she" was gone by the time I got there. I did deactivate my profile and now I can't read any messages that I had nor can anyone send me new ones. But best of all, scammer can no longer "like" me. I never liked them to start with so I'm happy....

I always wonder why scammers keep attacking dating sites and emails, but if they get one response in 1,000 that's a good day. If out of that, they get one person hooked out of a couple hundred responses, they've got a good payday. Too many lonely people make their jobs easy and for scammers, persistence pays off.

I remember when I used to get letters from Nigerian royalty and banker's widows, willing to share their millions with me, but the Internet and free long-distance phone service made that too expensive. I still get scammers calling my landline. My grandkids are in trouble and need bail money, "charities" call for donations, people wanting to fix my broken computer and so on. I got a call yesterday from the Post Office in Mexico (yes, the call actually came from Mexico) about a package delivery address verification for my wife. You don't really want to know what I told her.... Unfortunately, there are people who fall for these fakes, and that's a pity.

[William St. Guthlac]

Had another "like" on CM, but "she" was gone by the time I got there. I did deactivate my profile and now I can't read any messages that I had nor can anyone send me new ones. But best of all, scammer can no longer "like" me. I never liked them to start with so I'm happy....

I always wonder why scammers keep attacking dating sites and emails, but if they get one response in 1,000 that's a good day. If out of that, they get one person hooked out of a couple hundred responses, they've got a good payday. Too many lonely people make their jobs easy and for scammers, persistence pays off.

I remember when I used to get letters from Nigerian royalty and banker's widows, willing to share their millions with me, but the Internet and free long-distance phone service made that too expensive. I still get scammers calling my landline. My grandkids are in trouble and need bail money, "charities" call for donations, people wanting to fix my broken computer and so on. I got a call yesterday from the Post Office in Mexico (yes, the call actually came from Mexico) about a package delivery address verification for my wife. You don't really want to know what I told her.... Unfortunately, there are people who fall for these fakes, and that's a pity.

It is indeed a numbers game. 

Speaking of, the Federal Trade Commission and to a lesser extent (but impressively up and coming!) Consumer Financial Protection Bureau have some interesting metrics.

In 2023 fraud in the US alone ran over $8,000,000,000 dollars. Yes, billions. 

Most victims of fraud are young people! Inexperience I would guess, but! the deepest stings, the most money, was scammed from the elderly. Life's savings. Paid for homes. And so on.

Cultivation of the mark, the scheme is known rather nastily as "pig butchering" can last months or years. Most of it is not done by individuals, but by gangs, with tech support, actors, and as a calculated business. That explains the persistence and long range efforts. 

They do need better script writers. The tales of woe are predictable, but perhaps because they work so well. Americans are gullible, and frankly many are utterly ignorant of the world.  I have the Cold War and the US Air Force to thank for my perspectives which were set before my voice changed, lo that more than a half century ago when I had already been to four different countries, and watched the scams play out.

No one is completely immune. The odds just go down. Criminal law taught me that.