(12-18-2024, 04:46 AM)April Maccabees Wrote: Much of the stress that I'm experiencing at work is due to the codependency of my coworkers and managers. Codependency is a term that I recently learned about, though I have always recognized signs and symptoms of it. I don't recall it was ever a topic on the CM forums, at least when I was participating on it.
We're all broken people. I even recognize some codependent behaviors within myself. But experiencing other people's codependency can be extremely taxing. So, I have to figure out how to protect my own interests and sanity and to set boundaries.
I can fully sympathize with you, April ... all I do for those people, and it redounds back to me, is to pray for them and to keep my distance as best as I can (boundaries). Having been to AlAnon meetings for years (for those who don't know, AlAnon are the meetings for the family, friends, and acquaintances of the alcoholics), our one huge mantra is that I cannot change anyone else... I can only change myself. I'm not responsible for anyone else's good or bad behavior. I just pray for them while staying away from them.
Another thing I've recently learned, especially over the past several years -- saying "no" to many of the things that others are doing
by not letting myself get drawn into all their drama. Who needs all the drama?!?! Not I. 
Here's wishing you a very fruitful and blessed Advent Season, and a Merry Christmas coming up next week!
(12-18-2024, 03:24 PM)enchantmentadm Wrote:(12-18-2024, 04:46 AM)April Maccabees Wrote: Much of the stress that I'm experiencing at work is due to the codependency of my coworkers and managers. Codependency is a term that I recently learned about, though I have always recognized signs and symptoms of it. I don't recall it was ever a topic on the CM forums, at least when I was participating on it.
We're all broken people. I even recognize some codependent behaviors within myself. But experiencing other people's codependency can be extremely taxing. So, I have to figure out how to protect my own interests and sanity and to set boundaries.
The term "codependency" comes from the substance abuse field. One who is in a close relationship with a person with a chemical (i.e., drugs or alcohol) dependency or whose life is affected by someone's drug or alcohol abuse is considered a "co-dependent." In more recent years, the term "codependency" has been applied more broadly to any relationship where there is an excessive, unhealthy dependence or involvement in another's life. Codependency is usually a product of dysfunctional families.
What specific behaviors in your workplace do you identify as "codependent"?
Probably the key behavior in codependent relationships is "enabling." "Enabling" involves intentionally or unintentionally encouraging or supporting someone's unhealthy or self-destructive behavior. Other co-dependent behaviors include people pleasing, not having or respecting others' boundaries, a warped sense of responsibility for others, and excessive caretaking.
You are on the right track in setting boundaries. This is essential for self-care. This can be challenging until we can let go of others' reactions to our setting boundaries.
A book you might find helpful is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. The book was very popular in the 80s and 90s. So there are many used copies out there. If you want to go a little deeper, I would recommend "Facing Codependence" by Pia Melody. There are also support (12-step) groups such as Al-Anon and CODA you might find helpful in dealing with a codependent workplace.
Hang in there!
Another book you may find helpful is the "Boundaries" book by Cloud and Townsend. It is from a Christian (non-Catholic) perspective.
It's not only for the drug and alcohol addicted person, but also gambling, food addictions, sex addictions, shopping addictions, hypochondriacs, etc. ...anything that causes a person to over-indulge in anything. We need to learn to say "no" to many things that would cause us to over-indulge in anything. Everything in moderation, right? A little self-control goes a long way.