[MaryAlice]

How are you defining co dependency?

I would define codependency as a disordered and unhealthy relationship in which one person definitely has either vice or some toxic quality, which is enabled by another person - due to compassion, a need to feel needed, etc. The second person might recognize that the relationship is toxic, but he or she does not set good boundaries.

An example might be a narcissist and an empath.

Yes, April, the internet and social media are FILLED with narcissists ... people who are looking for attention, overly needy, an extreme lack of humility; their egos are in overdrive.  This is why I don't have a FB account.  I've heard from others that it's like a bloodbath out on FB ... and who needs that?  (Not I.)  

Especially over the past four-plus years, ever since the lockdown in March of 2020, I've often thought that FB is for children and idiotic dolts.  Everyone seems to be in 'broadcast mode.'  Even in my own family, a couple years ago, one of my siblings grossly overstepped her boundaries by criticizing a distant relative out on FB, completely upsetting my now-deceased Godmother, the Great Grandmother of the target of my sister's crass criticism.  My sister's contention and excuse was, "Well, I'm entitled to my opinion"!  Not being very quick with a response, but weeks later, thought about it, 'do ya think anyone really cares about your opinion'?  I'd like to think that I have enough self-awareness that no one else really cares about my opinion, so I usually wait until someone asks me for my opinion.  All that aside, haven't brought up the issue again with my sister for fear of catching more of her wrath, and all I do is pray for her.  I cannot change her, but with prayer, it changes me to be a lot more understanding of her situation, while at the same time, remaining the 120 miles away from her, while staving off the loneliness.

I extremely miss getting together with all my brothers and sister (listening to RelevantRadio and a few more knowledgeable people than I, they've been saying that of late, there is an epidemic of loneliness, to which I can certainly attest), but I don't want to travel the distance, only to get mistreated.  Who would?  Others have recommended that I tell her how I feel, but I really don't think it would matter to her, given other of her comments to me over the past four-plus years.

You mentioned "empath," but experiencing my sister's huge lack of empathy, it's astounding.  I just pray for her as that's all I can do for her.  And maybe, one day, she'll wake up to the realization of how her lack of boundaries, lack of empathy, along with her volatile, short, hot, quick fiery temper, along with the "F" word (which I've asked her not to use, at least when she's talking with me, but my request goes nowhere), how all this adversely affects others and myself.  Maybe she'll learn, maybe she won't; that's up to her.  And I wish her well.

Take care, April, and here's wishing you a very blessed Advent Season and Christmas, coming up next Wednesday!