[ezdays]

I go to the 7:00 AM mass at St. Clements in Sun City. I live in a different parish, but there, going to mass was like being in a social gathering, folks moving around to talk, even babies in carriages being pushed around. That is a carryover from when the church was in a temporary building and where we even had to contend with the band practicing before mass (drums, guitars, brass). That's why we registered at a different parish, which is OK with the diocese, it's about a 20 minute drive but that's fine because folks there respect the sanctity of the church, maybe an occasional whisper or handshake greeting a familiar face. As you can guess, most at mass are up in age, I sit in back and see a sea of white hair. If there's a family of young people they're sure to be visiting the grandparents.

Yesterday, one such family of four came in and sat next to two older folks, very typical until the mother reached in her purse and pulled out a Starbucks and started sucking on it. Then the girl who appeared to be around 20 and was wearing super-short and very tight pants started on her cell phone, she'd type stuff, put it down, type some more, I'm not sure for how long because I turned away.

My question, is this the new norm for how we act when we go to mass? No respect for God and the presence of Jesus, not even dressed appropriately. It doesn't seem right, mass is not a social event like a concert. What's your take of this activity before mass, is it prevalent in your parish? Am I living in the past?

Needless to say, I'm upset how they acted before mass at the church I no longer attend mass at, but more so how this family seemed to have no dignity to the presence of the Holy Spirit, and do they act this way at their home parish?

[William St. Guthlac]

You know... I read this Don, and it seems so caustic. So sharp. So harsh and judgmental. Like some grouse up in the balcony seating.

I just have one thing to say.

We can do this!

:Thumbup:

[ezdays]

You know... I read this Don, and it seems so caustic. So sharp. So harsh and judgmental. Like some grouse up in the balcony seating.

I just have one thing to say.

We can do this!

:Thumbup:

You're so right, we can see so much more from the balcony, and I guess we should just turn a blind eye to that which offends. I just can't see turning the mass into a social gathering. Even my FIL waited to get home from church before he cracked open a bottle of beer for his breakfast. (true story).....

My biggest concern is that this might become the new norm.

Sign me as: Grouchy Waldorf.

[Doug1979]

I agree that we need to turn a "blind eye", because only God will make the final judgment of what I do and I need to be prepared for the consequences of everything I do (actions, inactions, thoughts, etc.). If I see someone doing something I do not agree with (as long as it is not hurting someone else), then I just say a prayer asking God to forgive my (and everyone's) naivety and to guide all to HIS will.

It's also one of the reasons I go to early morning mass (7:30am), because I see less of the behaviors I feel is wrong when at church.

On another note, I have heard many people apologize for not kneeling, because their knees don't work well. I usually tell the person that I believe that God is glad you did your best and came to worship HIM.

Again, all we can do is our best, and pray that God forgives our unintentional offenses.

[ezdays]

I agree that we need to turn a "blind eye", because only God will make the final judgment of what I do and I need to be prepared for the consequences of everything I do (actions, inactions, thoughts, etc.). If I see someone doing something I do not agree with (as long as it is not hurting someone else), then I just say a prayer asking God to forgive my (and everyone's) naivety and to guide all to HIS will.

It's also one of the reasons I go to early morning mass (7:30am), because I see less of the behaviors I feel is wrong when at church.

On another note, I have heard many people apologize for not kneeling, because their knees don't work well. I usually tell the person that I believe that God is glad you did your best and came to worship HIM.

Again, all we can do is our best, and pray that God forgives our unintentional offenses.

A while back, our pastor had put a note in the bulletin about turning cell phones off before entering the church, I would not expect for him to have to post something about not drinking coffee or soda while sitting in the pews. I would think that this woman was brought up to respect the sanctity of the church. She should also be aware that if she's receiving communion, she needs to be fasting a full hour before doing so.

As for not kneeling, that's perfectly understandable, in our church, the entire back row of pews is reserved for the handicap (remember, we are in Sun City), many neither kneel or stand during mass and there's no need to apologize for not doing something that is physically difficult.

The only reason I brought this up is that it bothered me to see someone sipping on a Starbucks coffee in church at any time. I think acting this way is disrespectful and I really doubt that God is going to say, "Well, at least they showed up"...

I could be wrong, just that many of us in our parish were brought up with meatless Fridays, fasting starting at Midnight, head covers for women and communion at the alter rail. So maybe my ideals are more strict than newer generations.

[RedheadMN]

Well, you can't do anything about this. 

Here is what I have done when people were coughing and were sick, and where behind  or next to me:
I removed myself, went and sat somewhere else.

I did the same when the kids where kicking me, and hitting me.  I might have said something first to the parents that your child just hit me.

In other words:  If the people next to you are distractions, remove yourself, go to another seat.

Problem will likely be solved.

---

I go to the 7:00 AM mass at St. Clements in Sun City. I live in a different parish, but there, going to mass was like being in a social gathering, folks moving around to talk, even babies in carriages being pushed around. That is a carryover from when the church was in a temporary building and where we even had to contend with the band practicing before mass (drums, guitars, brass). That's why we registered at a different parish, which is OK with the diocese, it's about a 20 minute drive but that's fine because folks there respect the sanctity of the church, maybe an occasional whisper or handshake greeting a familiar face. As you can guess, most at mass are up in age, I sit in back and see a sea of white hair. If there's a family of young people they're sure to be visiting the grandparents.

Yesterday, one such family of four came in and sat next to two older folks, very typical until the mother reached in her purse and pulled out a Starbucks and started sucking on it. Then the girl who appeared to be around 20 and was wearing super-short and very tight pants started on her cell phone, she'd type stuff, put it down, type some more, I'm not sure for how long because I turned away.

My question, is this the new norm for how we act when we go to mass? No respect for God and the presence of Jesus, not even dressed appropriately. It doesn't seem right, mass is not a social event like a concert. What's your take of this activity before mass, is it prevalent in your parish? Am I living in the past?

Needless to say, I'm upset how they acted before mass at the church I no longer attend mass at, but more so how this family seemed to have no dignity to the presence of the Holy Spirit, and do they act this way at their home parish?

"Needless to say, I'm upset how they acted before mass at the church I no longer attend mass at, but more so how this family seemed to have no dignity to the presence of the Holy Spirit, and do they act this way at their home parish?"

- They just might not comprehend what's going on, are not Catholic, and so much more.  See my previous note.  Jannet

[ezdays]

Well, you can't do anything about this. 

Here is what I have done when people were coughing and were sick, and where behind  or next to me:
I removed myself, went and sat somewhere else.

I did the same when the kids where kicking me, and hitting me.  I might have said something first to the parents that your child just hit me.

In other words:  If the people next to you are distractions, remove yourself, go to another seat.

Problem will likely be solved.

---

"Needless to say, I'm upset how they acted before mass at the church I no longer attend mass at, but more so how this family seemed to have no dignity to the presence of the Holy Spirit, and do they act this way at their home parish?"

- They just might not comprehend what's going on, are not Catholic, and so much more.  See my previous note.  Jannet

You kind of missed my point. These things are not simply a distraction or and annoyance but I think they are disrespectful to God. Moving to a different pew still doesn't make what they're doing right. You can understand kids acting like kids or crying babies, they don't know better and so that leans on the parents and discipline. But creating a social atmosphere in church, even a non-Catholic knows better. I'm simply pointing out this behavior and praying that this isn't becoming acceptable. It most certainly isn't in Sun City or with folks from older generations.

[RedheadMN]

Well, you can't do anything about this. 

Here is what I have done when people were coughing and were sick, and where behind  or next to me:
I removed myself, went and sat somewhere else.

I did the same when the kids where kicking me, and hitting me.  I might have said something first to the parents that your child just hit me.

In other words:  If the people next to you are distractions, remove yourself, go to another seat.

Problem will likely be solved.

---

"Needless to say, I'm upset how they acted before mass at the church I no longer attend mass at, but more so how this family seemed to have no dignity to the presence of the Holy Spirit, and do they act this way at their home parish?"

- They just might not comprehend what's going on, are not Catholic, and so much more.  See my previous note.  Jannet

You kind of missed my point. These things are not simply a distraction or and annoyance but I think they are disrespectful to God. Moving to a different pew still doesn't make what they're doing right. You can understand kids acting like kids or crying babies, they don't know better and so that leans on the parents and discipline. But creating a social atmosphere in church, even a non-Catholic knows better. I'm simply pointing out this behavior and praying that this isn't becoming acceptable. It most certainly isn't in Sun City or with folks from older generations.

Oh, sorry!


Regarding this matter - I don't see what you have witness so much, but I'm in rural Minnesota.  Same families nearly sit in the same places for that last 100 or more years!

I'll go back to my pew now.

[ezdays]

You kind of missed my point. These things are not simply a distraction or and annoyance but I think they are disrespectful to God. Moving to a different pew still doesn't make what they're doing right. You can understand kids acting like kids or crying babies, they don't know better and so that leans on the parents and discipline. But creating a social atmosphere in church, even a non-Catholic knows better. I'm simply pointing out this behavior and praying that this isn't becoming acceptable. It most certainly isn't in Sun City or with folks from older generations.

Oh, sorry!


Regarding this matter - I don't see what you have witness so much, but I'm in rural Minnesota.  Same families nearly sit in the same places for that last 100 or more years!

I'll go back to my pew now.

We too have folks who sit in the same place each week, count me as one. We get concerned when we see an empty seat where we know someone that usually sits there. I think that's true in most parishes. (I believe ours is about 50 years old). The parish that I live in has families of all ages, I guess being from the generation we're in, most of us find it difficult to "go with the flow", so we're not use to using the church as a social gathering spot. I think that if you took a poll, not one person in the Sun City (a retirement community) church I attend would dispute that. We do get many visiting families, most are pious and respectful, that's why I was so appalled to see the behavior of this family.

[Doug1979]

I agree that we need to turn a "blind eye", because only God will make the final judgment of what I do and I need to be prepared for the consequences of everything I do (actions, inactions, thoughts, etc.). If I see someone doing something I do not agree with (as long as it is not hurting someone else), then I just say a prayer asking God to forgive my (and everyone's) naivety and to guide all to HIS will.

It's also one of the reasons I go to early morning mass (7:30am), because I see less of the behaviors I feel is wrong when at church.

On another note, I have heard many people apologize for not kneeling, because their knees don't work well. I usually tell the person that I believe that God is glad you did your best and came to worship HIM.

Again, all we can do is our best, and pray that God forgives our unintentional offenses.

A while back, our pastor had put a note in the bulletin about turning cell phones off before entering the church, I would not expect for him to have to post something about not drinking coffee or soda while sitting in the pews. I would think that this woman was brought up to respect the sanctity of the church. She should also be aware that if she's receiving communion, she needs to be fasting a full hour before doing so.

As for not kneeling, that's perfectly understandable, in our church, the entire back row of pews is reserved for the handicap (remember, we are in Sun City), many neither kneel or stand during mass and there's no need to apologize for not doing something that is physically difficult.

The only reason I brought this up is that it bothered me to see someone sipping on a Starbucks coffee in church at any time. I think acting this way is disrespectful and I really doubt that God is going to say, "Well, at least they showed up"...

I could be wrong, just that many of us in our parish were brought up with meatless Fridays, fasting starting at Midnight, head covers for women and communion at the alter rail. So maybe my ideals are more strict than newer generations.

Sorry for not being clearer. I agree that it is disrespectful, but unless you are going to go up and "correct" them, then I believe you just say a prayer and ignore them.

[ezdays]

Sorry for not being clearer. I agree that it is disrespectful, but unless you are going to go up and "correct" them, then I believe you just say a prayer and ignore them.

As a parishioner, there's really not much you can do unless they're sitting next to you. I think if an usher saw them, they might say something, but you can never predict someone's response, not anymore, so as you all say, turn your head and say a prayer.

[English Rose]

Sorry for not being clearer. I agree that it is disrespectful, but unless you are going to go up and "correct" them, then I believe you just say a prayer and ignore them.

As a parishioner, there's really not much you can do unless they're sitting next to you. I think if an usher saw them, they might say something, but you can never predict someone's response, not anymore, so as you all say, turn your head and say a prayer.

Our priest periodically asks for people to be respectful before and after Mass.  Over here, so few people attend church (we are becoming a secular nation) I tend to think it's better to have people in church being noisy than their not being in church at all.  I imagine over time, they might learn respect for the eucharist.  We are in the presence of Christ and Jesus seemed to accept most people, so I feel I need to be gracious about people who experience his presence in a different way to my own.  I do know people, who prefer peace and stillness, who have moved to the local Carmelite Priory for Mass.  I think I'd miss the presence of children though.  

I've just found the emojis   :Thumbup:

[MaryAlice]

I go to the 7:00 AM mass at St. Clements in Sun City. I live in a different parish, but there, going to mass was like being in a social gathering, folks moving around to talk, even babies in carriages being pushed around. That is a carryover from when the church was in a temporary building and where we even had to contend with the band practicing before mass (drums, guitars, brass). That's why we registered at a different parish, which is OK with the diocese, it's about a 20 minute drive but that's fine because folks there respect the sanctity of the church, maybe an occasional whisper or handshake greeting a familiar face. As you can guess, most at mass are up in age, I sit in back and see a sea of white hair. If there's a family of young people they're sure to be visiting the grandparents.

Yesterday, one such family of four came in and sat next to two older folks, very typical until the mother reached in her purse and pulled out a Starbucks and started sucking on it. Then the girl who appeared to be around 20 and was wearing super-short and very tight pants started on her cell phone, she'd type stuff, put it down, type some more, I'm not sure for how long because I turned away.

My question, is this the new norm for how we act when we go to mass? No respect for God and the presence of Jesus, not even dressed appropriately. It doesn't seem right, mass is not a social event like a concert. What's your take of this activity before mass, is it prevalent in your parish? Am I living in the past?

Needless to say, I'm upset how they acted before mass at the church I no longer attend mass at, but more so how this family seemed to have no dignity to the presence of the Holy Spirit, and do they act this way at their home parish?

Hi, Don,

I understand exactly what your saying ... and I agree, wholeheartedly.

The parish where I go to Mass is very far out of my way -- I could go to any number of other Catholic churches which are closer to where I live, but they are very modern, crass (with all the talking and excessive running around of the little ones), and people just not respecting the fact that they / we are in God's House ... it's not the same as our own homes; Our Lord deserves our attention, both before and after Mass.  And where I go to Mass, it remains quiet both before and  after Mass!  

Also, some people (especially the young girls and women who don't dress modestly) -- well, all I can say is that I'm embarrassed for them.  My Mom would have my head if she ever got wind of my wearing such revealing attire for Mass.  Eons ago when in our teenage years and going to Mass on our own, if she caught any of us inappropriately dressed, she'd reprimand us and tell us to get right back upstairs and change into something more fitting for Our Lord.  He's God, after all, and He deserves our very best.  Just sayin'!  Great post, Don ... thank you.

---

You know... I read this Don, and it seems so caustic. So sharp. So harsh and judgmental. Like some grouse up in the balcony seating.

I just have one thing to say.

We can do this!

:Thumbup:

Love it .... preach it!  Thank you, oh kind sir!

---

I agree that we need to turn a "blind eye", because only God will make the final judgment of what I do and I need to be prepared for the consequences of everything I do (actions, inactions, thoughts, etc.). If I see someone doing something I do not agree with (as long as it is not hurting someone else), then I just say a prayer asking God to forgive my (and everyone's) naivety and to guide all to HIS will.

It's also one of the reasons I go to early morning mass (7:30am), because I see less of the behaviors I feel is wrong when at church.

On another note, I have heard many people apologize for not kneeling, because their knees don't work well. I usually tell the person that I believe that God is glad you did your best and came to worship HIM.

Again, all we can do is our best, and pray that God forgives our unintentional offenses.

A while back, our pastor had put a note in the bulletin about turning cell phones off before entering the church, I would not expect for him to have to post something about not drinking coffee or soda while sitting in the pews. I would think that this woman was brought up to respect the sanctity of the church. She should also be aware that if she's receiving communion, she needs to be fasting a full hour before doing so.

As for not kneeling, that's perfectly understandable, in our church, the entire back row of pews is reserved for the handicap (remember, we are in Sun City), many neither kneel or stand during mass and there's no need to apologize for not doing something that is physically difficult.

The only reason I brought this up is that it bothered me to see someone sipping on a Starbucks coffee in church at any time. I think acting this way is disrespectful and I really doubt that God is going to say, "Well, at least they showed up"...

I could be wrong, just that many of us in our parish were brought up with meatless Fridays, fasting starting at Midnight, head covers for women and communion at the alter rail. So maybe my ideals are more strict than newer generations.

Again, Don, I agree with you.  All I can figure is that some people were never taught these things.  We just completed that Eucharistic Revival in Indiana last week, and I heard it was a great success.  But the need for that Revival really astounded me since I believe that Christ is really present in The Holy Eucharist -- Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord, both on the altar during the Offertory and Canon of the Mass, and in all our tabernacles around the world; but the statistics say that apparently 30% (but I could be wrong, probably more), of Catholics do not believe this -- because they were never taught this in school, nor possibly from their parents.

Let's hope that the respect and reverence which Our Lord deserves returns to Him and very soon.

And that woman who was sipping on a starbucks coffee -- really!!!!????!!!!  Some people have no respect!  Just pray for her!

[susanb]

I go to the 7:00 AM mass at St. Clements in Sun City. I live in a different parish, but there, going to mass was like being in a social gathering, folks moving around to talk, even babies in carriages being pushed around. That is a carryover from when the church was in a temporary building and where we even had to contend with the band practicing before mass (drums, guitars, brass). That's why we registered at a different parish, which is OK with the diocese, it's about a 20 minute drive but that's fine because folks there respect the sanctity of the church, maybe an occasional whisper or handshake greeting a familiar face. As you can guess, most at mass are up in age, I sit in back and see a sea of white hair. If there's a family of young people they're sure to be visiting the grandparents.

Yesterday, one such family of four came in and sat next to two older folks, very typical until the mother reached in her purse and pulled out a Starbucks and started sucking on it. Then the girl who appeared to be around 20 and was wearing super-short and very tight pants started on her cell phone, she'd type stuff, put it down, type some more, I'm not sure for how long because I turned away.

My question, is this the new norm for how we act when we go to mass? No respect for God and the presence of Jesus, not even dressed appropriately. It doesn't seem right, mass is not a social event like a concert. What's your take of this activity before mass, is it prevalent in your parish? Am I living in the past?

Needless to say, I'm upset how they acted before mass at the church I no longer attend mass at, but more so how this family seemed to have no dignity to the presence of the Holy Spirit, and do they act this way at their home parish?

Hi, Don,

I understand exactly what your saying ... and I agree, wholeheartedly.

The parish where I go to Mass is very far out of my way -- I could go to any number of other Catholic churches which are closer to where I live, but they are very modern, crass (with all the talking and excessive running around of the little ones), and people just not respecting the fact that they / we are in God's House ... it's not the same as our own homes; Our Lord deserves our attention, both before and after Mass.  And where I go to Mass, it remains quiet both before and  after Mass!  

Also, some people (especially the young girls and women who don't dress modestly) -- well, all I can say is that I'm embarrassed for them.  My Mom would have my head if she ever got wind of my wearing such revealing attire for Mass.  Eons ago when in our teenage years and going to Mass on our own, if she caught any of us inappropriately dressed, she'd reprimand us and tell us to get right back upstairs and change into something more fitting for Our Lord.  He's God, after all, and He deserves our very best.  Just sayin'!  Great post, Don ... thank you.

---

You know... I read this Don, and it seems so caustic. So sharp. So harsh and judgmental. Like some grouse up in the balcony seating.

I just have one thing to say.

We can do this!

:Thumbup:

Love it .... preach it!  Thank you, oh kind sir!

---

A while back, our pastor had put a note in the bulletin about turning cell phones off before entering the church, I would not expect for him to have to post something about not drinking coffee or soda while sitting in the pews. I would think that this woman was brought up to respect the sanctity of the church. She should also be aware that if she's receiving communion, she needs to be fasting a full hour before doing so.

As for not kneeling, that's perfectly understandable, in our church, the entire back row of pews is reserved for the handicap (remember, we are in Sun City), many neither kneel or stand during mass and there's no need to apologize for not doing something that is physically difficult.

The only reason I brought this up is that it bothered me to see someone sipping on a Starbucks coffee in church at any time. I think acting this way is disrespectful and I really doubt that God is going to say, "Well, at least they showed up"...

I could be wrong, just that many of us in our parish were brought up with meatless Fridays, fasting starting at Midnight, head covers for women and communion at the alter rail. So maybe my ideals are more strict than newer generations.

Again, Don, I agree with you.  All I can figure is that some people were never taught these things.  We just completed that Eucharistic Revival in Indiana last week, and I heard it was a great success.  But the need for that Revival really astounded me since I believe that Christ is really present in The Holy Eucharist -- Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord, both on the altar during the Offertory and Canon of the Mass, and in all our tabernacles around the world; but the statistics say that apparently 30% (but I could be wrong, probably more), of Catholics do not believe this -- because they were never taught this in school, nor possibly from their parents.

Let's hope that the respect and reverence which Our Lord deserves returns to Him and very soon.

And that woman who was sipping on a starbucks coffee -- really!!!!????!!!!  Some people have no respect!  Just pray for her!

---

oops......didn't look around enough to see this post before........
......as sacred music is my thing.......I treat myself only to occasions with great music....
when possible

my parish is almost all south asian and I only choose the times with the best music....

I have experienced this disrespect too and changed parishes......